The Top Things to Look for When Hiring a Speaker for Your Team

There’s no shortage of motivational speakers, leadership trainers, or consultants out there.
Some come with flashy slides, others with catchy acronyms. They might get a few laughs, drop a quote from Brené Brown or Simon Sinek, and give your team a temporary morale boost.

But what happens when the doors close and the next guest walks in?
Does your team feel any more equipped to handle the tension that’s been building?
To repair a fractured moment mid-shift?
To process that guest confrontation without spiraling internally for the rest of the day?

In service and hospitality, the pressure isn’t just about tasks. It’s in the undercurrent.
That tight breath before speaking up.
The invisible friction between coworkers.
The emotional hangover from being “on” all day, with no space to land.

If you’re bringing someone in to guide or support your team, here’s what I’d want you to ask. This comes from my perspective as a therapist who’s sat with hundreds of people in relational tension, and as someone who deeply understands the emotional labor behind a clean guest experience.

1. Can they hold emotional complexity or just manage behavior?

A lot of trainings focus on surface-level behaviors—what to say, how to say it, how to stay polite under pressure. But in service environments, most of the tension stems from what’s happening internally when someone feels overwhelmed or shut down.

According to a 2023 report from the American Psychological Association, 74% of hospitality workers feel emotionally drained by the end of their shift. That weight doesn’t just fade. It shows up in tone, withdrawal, and misfires between team members.

The best trainers can read what’s unsaid. They understand how stress and dysregulation impact interactions, and they offer tools to help people stay steady and connected—even when things get hard.

2. Are they bringing a framework or just good vibes?

A feel-good session can be helpful. But real change needs structure.

You want someone who gives your team a way to understand not just what they’re doing but why it keeps happening.

That means helping people name the gap between intent and impact
Helping them track what’s behind their reactions
Slowing down the moment just enough to choose a different response

When someone walks away with a repeatable internal process, not just a checklist, they’re far more likely to retain and use what they’ve learned.

According to the Center for Creative Leadership, only 10% of training is retained without a clear framework or opportunity to integrate new patterns over time (CCL, 2022). Frameworks aren’t just nice. They’re necessary for lasting change.

3. Do they understand the emotional labor of this work or are they just observing it?

In hospitality and service roles, your team does far more than complete tasks. They absorb emotion all day long—calming stress, softening disappointment, holding space for people who are overwhelmed—all while staying composed and gracious.

That kind of emotional labor takes a toll, especially when there’s little room to process what’s been carried.

When a trainer glosses over that reality or leans on shame-based advice, your team might nod along but nothing shifts. What actually lands is someone who can name the weight of the work, create space for honesty, and help people feel less alone in what they’re navigating.

Once people feel understood, they’re far more open. And that’s where real change begins.

4. Do they know how to work with team culture or just individual behavior?

You can’t fix a system by coaching one person at a time.

The culture of a team—the unspoken rules, the safety or lack of it, the hierarchy of who gets to speak—shapes every interaction. And it shapes whether any new learning can stick.

A good trainer knows how to read the culture.
A great one helps shift it.

That means asking
Who usually leads the conversation and who stays quiet?
How are mistakes handled?
Is there a repair process or does rupture turn into silence?

If the system isn’t addressed, behavior may change briefly but the deeper patterns will persist.

5. Are they speaking with your team or at them?

You can feel this within five minutes.

The most effective speakers don’t impress the room. They attune to it.
They don’t rely on control or cleverness. They build connection.

They know how to read the energy, how to hold space for emotion, and how to deliver truth with tenderness.

When your team is used to being told what to do, the most powerful thing a trainer can offer is presence, not pressure. A grounded, honest, human presence that models what it looks like to lead with care and clarity at the same time.

Want to go deeper?

If you’re still reading, chances are you’re not looking for someone to pump up your team for a day.

You’re looking for someone who can speak into the real dynamics.
The layers beneath the surface. The stress, the roles, the emotional effort that’s been invisible for too long.

You’re looking for change that sticks.

That’s exactly what my coaching and team workshops are built for.
They’re therapy-informed, relationally grounded, and designed specifically for service-based and hospitality teams who are ready to shift how they show up—with each other and with their clients.

Your team deserves more than good energy.
They deserve tools. They deserve safety.
They deserve someone who actually sees them—and knows how to support them forward.

If you're ready to explore what that could look like for your people, reach out anytime at hello@tinaempower.com.